Give me something

There is a perception that because I am white I must be rich, and therefore I ought to share my riches, this means I frequently am asked to “give me something”.  Mostly I ignore it or laugh it off, but sometimes it really gets to me.

There is a lady in my street, who sells traditional medicine, almost every day when I come home she says “White, what have you brought for me?”  She has two lovely daughters, aged around 7 or 8, who never ask me for anything.  One evening after dark I met one of her daughters crying in the street, when I asked what was wrong she said she had dropped Naira 50.  Clearly she had been sent on an errand and was dreading what her punishment would be.  I gave her Naira 50, wondering if this would be the beginning of a problem, but nothing has changed the daughter continues to greet me happily not demanding anything. 

One day, when I was with my friend Rebecca a fellow Brit, a boy aged around 13 or 14 and carrying a biro, or BIC approached me and said “give me something”.  Our conversation progressed as follows:

Me:  “no, you give me something, how about that pen?”

Him:  “but I only just bought it, give me something”,

Me: Why don’t you ask them (various wealthy looking people) to give you something?

Him: because they are not white

Me: did someone tell you that you should ask white people for things?

Him: Yes, my teacher

Me: My teacher told me to ask black people to give me things, so give me something

At this point he walked off.  Rebecca was trying not to laugh, and asked me which teacher had told me, I replied Geography when we were learning about the world!

A few weeks ago, close to my house the children asked me for moto, (I assumed this meant motor, ie car), since they are all far too young to drive, I jokingly counted seven children and promised seven cars.  I forgot that sarcasm in humour is a purely British thing, now the mother is asking me when I am bringing the motos?!  I told her when I married a rich Nigerian I’d be able to afford it!

I mentioned this to a colleague today, she said maybe they meant toy cars, I’ve never seen one in Nigeria so I didn’t think of that, perhaps I’d better go and look for some, or will I just reinforce the stereotype that you can ask white people for things because they are rich?

Take me to your country

Take me to your country, is a phrase I hear too often for my liking, sometimes I make a joke of it, but often I ask them why, what do they know about my country and why do they want to go there?  Often I find they don't even know which country I am from, but all the same they assume that it is a land of riches, and once there, their problems will be over.

Yesterday, someone from our Internet Service Provider was in the office, he complained that I hadn't accepted his facebook request, so I clicked on it to find he was "in a relationship with" the name and photo provided.  He even bragged about her beauty, so I wandered why he was so worried about my facebook friendship.

He then started telling me how he wanted to go to Canada, when I asked him why, he said because it was quiet there.  Now that makes sense, Nigeria is a noisy place and has a population of around 150 million people.  However he went on to tell me that he needed an invitation to Canada, so I said he'd better ask a Canadian.

Then it became clear that he thought I was a Canadian, I told him I'd never been to Canada, he said but you are still a Canadian, you can still invite me!  I'm still not sure if he believes that I am not Canadian!

My first Nigerian wedding

My friend and former colleague Hamzy, invited me to a wedding; in true African style I had never met the Bride or the Groom but I had met Ismail one of the groom’s brothers. The wedding was in Lagos so I went with Mike, a Lagos based VSO volunteer, and had a wonderful day thanks to Hamzy and Ismail’s family going out of their way to make us welcome and include us in this special day.

Me and Hamzy

All I knew from Hamzy was that the wedding was in Lagos, and it was on Sunday 29th May. So off I went to Lagos, (since this coincided with the day of the Presidential Inauguration the VSO security advice was to “lie low” whatever that means). The previous day, Hamzy  texted me the address of the wedding and told me it started at 9am! I said are you serious Hamzy, 9am, he said yes don’t be late. Mike and I decided to leave his house at 9am and aim to arrive at 10

10 o'clock!

Now we get the programme it says start at 10am, not 9 Hamzy!

Bride

When we finally got the programmes we saw that the official start time was 10am, my learning from this is to arrive at least 90 minutes late to weddings in future.

Groom

So the wedding was an Islamic and Yoruba wedding, my second Islamic wedding and first Nigerian wedding. The Islamic bit was first and to my surprise a lot of the audience / congregation or whatever the term is were chatting while the Imam was officiating, even the Imam received a call on his mobile during the ceremony.

Imam

  Then the Yoruba part, first a change of dress into rather grand costumes, then we (I have become a friend of the bridegroom) had to dance our way into the ceremony. During this we had to produce a lot of money, in fact the whole currency, ie one of every Nigerian note, (fortunately the highest note is Naira 1000, about GBP 4, there are no coins) Mike had a few US dollars which helped. (Being a wedding guest is expensive in Nigeria – go with lots of money!)

Groom and mother dancing

Lots of Naira

 Eventually after dancing a lot and providing the whole currency we “made it” into the room where the groom and his male friends had to beg the bride’s family for the bride.


 








Then greeting the groom’s family and seeking marital blessings!




 Well it looks like it worked as here they are together.

Happy couple

It was wonderful to be a part of this, and to be appreciated for being a part of it. I had phone calls from Hamzy and Ismail afterwards thanking us. A little insight into another culture, and I now know how to dance like a Yoruba man! 


So thank you, Hamzy, Ismail and family, and thank you Nigeria!


More photos here
                                   

Election fever - free, fair and fatal

When VSO asked us to stay inside during all three voting days, and on the days that results were announced, I thought they were being over-cautious but my Nigerian colleagues did not!  It turned out that every voting day between 8am and 4pm, there were “movement restrictions”, people being supposed to travel only on foot, and only with the purpose of voting.  This was to reduce the possibility of anybody interfering with the voting process, by intimidation, persuasion, or other means.  
 

Voting is time consuming, despite already being registered voters had to turn up for “accreditation” and then wait to cast their vote.  They were also encouraged to stay around until the end of voting and witness the count, which was to be posted at each voting post. 

Generally the elections have been commended by national and international observers as free and fair, although there have been “isolated” cases of rigging and stuffing.  Stuffing – is a term applied to stealing ballot boxes and “stuffing” them with votes, using ballot papers of voters who didn’t show up to vote.  There were also a number of bombings and fatalities: of the INEC (electoral commission office) and several in Maiduguri.  My colleagues said “they gave their lives for democracy”.

Nigeria only emerged from a military government in 1999, the President “elected” then was a former military dictator, he was re-elected in 2003.  In 2007 the late Yar’Adua was elected, and succeeded by his Vice-President Goodluck Jonathan last year, who has now in 2011 been elected President.

All was well (ish) until the outcome of the presidential election, after which riots erupted in the North, leaving around 800 dead and displacing around 50,000.  A quick look at the map below helps to explain why. (Map from BBC website read more here)  Apparently the trouble began in Katsina, when people already celebrating the supposed victory of Buhari, heard the news that Jonathan had been elected and assumed that the election had been rigged, not in their favour.  To give some context this country is enormous, and is massively divided between rich and poor, Islam and Christianity, 250 ethnic groups and 500 languages.  And of course these many groups did not chose to become a country, like most of Africa, the country Nigeria is a result of colonialism.  The practice of gaining control over other countries and ocuppying them with settlers, (Oxford English Dictionary) 

Source BBC http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12893448

Three large cities in the North, (all of which I have visited) Kano, Kaduna and Kafanchan were affected.  Here are two stories of people affected. 

xxxx, originally from Lagos (in the South) was in his house, when people came to the door and asked him if he was a Christian or a Muslim, fortunately for him, they were looking for Muslims.  They made him recite the Lord’s Prayer to prove his Christianity, and killed his Muslim friends in front of him.  He fled hiding in the bush, until he could fly out of the area.  Unsurprising he has now resigned his job in the North.

Kim a volunteer, based in Kafanchan, was out of the country at the time.  She lives in Kagoro, the market was burnt down, now there are two markets one for Christians and one for Muslims

Clearly many people were involved in this violence, some say it was orchestrated, whether or not it was, people took part in widespread violence and murder.  After the Rwanda genocide, I came to the inclusion that in the right circumstances anybody could become a murder, these circumstances could be fear, hunger, anger, ......  In Nigeria, 90% of people live on less than $2 a day, and 70% on less than $1 (that is not enough to live on, I tried $1.25 a day just for food for a week, I was hungry, you can read about it here).   There is  a lack of political leadership, and  underlying tensions between ethnic groups...., maybe someone offers you money to take part, or threatens to kill you if you don't, what do you do...?

Ironically while all this was going on all was well in the South, I was reading War and Peace at the time, which recounts the insanity of a war between the Russian and the French, in the midst of it the “high society” continue their lives relatively normally.

So what next? – Well people try to get on with their lives, Kim, above is amazed by their tenacity – read here.  VSO volunteers who were evacuated from those towns go back to their houses and jobs, and I have now experienced an African election.  On a positive one of my Nigerian colleagues says that Nigeria is on a journey towards democracy and despite the violence and trouble things are getting better.  I hope he is right.

The long silence

I try to update my blog at least weekly, after my Mum telling me she gave up looking because it never changes, this has not been possible in the last couple of months.  My laptop died, and thanks to a Dell warranty has now been resurrected.  Dell actually sent their engineer to me, (from Lagos) to put a new motherboard in my computer, much to my amazement and relief, it took three weeks for this “Next Business Day” service to happen but at least it did.

In the meantime, I borrowed a desktop from work, which is OK, but with very limited electricity that can go off at any second, rather frustrating.  A few times I borrowed my friend Rebecca’s tiny lap top, and I got a two week extension on my two assignments that were due for my MSc, submitted last Thursday.

So hopefully with work submitted at least for now, next deadline 4th July, and the scary prospect of having planned the next 16 months of my life away, (one of those two assignments was a proposal for my MSc dissertation, to be submitted in 16 months and estimated to take 600 hours) I will manage to blog a little, plenty to tell you about, watch this space!